PC games have dominated my playtime lately (Escape from Tarkov, PUBG, Shadow of Mordor), but I made an exception for Metal Gear Solid V. There are times when it feels good to move away from the desk, settle into the couch, and play a console game with a controller. I’ve enjoyed past MGS games and after reading rave reviews I decided to buy the game for PS4. The change of gameplay as sneaky Snake would be a nice change of pace. I had no plans for the weekend, and so it would be a chill, relaxing Saturday and Sunday of playing throughout the day and into the night.
That’s what I thought until I got to the first cutscene…
The first cutscene involves this fiery, hell spawn of a man who just wants to get you. Now I don’t know about you, but I have no problem walking in the pitch dark at midnight UNLESS I have watched a scary movie. One scary movie and it’s game over. I’ll be sleeping with the lights on, and having mini-heart attacks at any slight noise. As a kid I went to my Aunt’s house and she put one of the Freddy Krueger flicks on. That night it took everything in me to walk to the bathroom, because yes Freddy Claws was definitely in there ready to slash and dash me.
So the moment that Señor Fire Demon showed up, my heartbeat rose, and it only got worse. MGSV starts with this scary as hell hot man chasing you only to top if off with an even worse nightmare.
First, Fire Demon and NOW nightmare redhead gas mask puppet!
I’m shaking and pause the game to make sure that no monsters bust into my house to kill me while I play. There’s no way I’ll be sleeping well tonight. I push through the first scene running and gunning and praying that it will all over be soon. It’s frightening and once it’s over I drink a cold beer and tell myself that I’ll be ok.
After surviving the first scene I took a long break knowing that I was mentally unprepared for this game. When I finally picked it up it was only after I told myself that as a 30 year old man I should be able to handle a scary video game character or two. I fired Phantom Pain back up, and start in on the early missions happy to see that Floaty McGee and Fireman Jim are no where in site.
The first few missions are fun, and feel very MGS-like. It’s fun to sneak around taking out enemies and parachuting them into the sky, but it’s just as fun to cause mischief and gun enemies down. I had almost forgotten about the horrors when these dudes popped out of nowhere.
They’ve got broken bones and bright eyes and chase you around, and just like that I pissed my pants.
NOPE. No more. I can’t play this.
Call me a wuss, but Metal Gear Solid V is too much for me. I had a hard time with the head crabs in Half-Life there’s no way that I am going to muster the courage to fight off Skulls, Satan, and Floaty McGee.