Gamer Grub For Those Who Want to Die Young


You’re preparing for a night (or long weekend) of gaming, and you want to make sure you’ve got the right food to keep you strong. We’ve put together a list of gamer grub that you will guarantee enjoy, but will certainly take a few years off your life. We know that this list isn’t the healthiest, but damn you’re going to enjoy these little treats.

Cheez Its

They are the perfect snack, because they are delicious and perfect to munch on. The more Cheez Its you eat the more cheesy they get. Two words of warnings! First – don’t eat these things too recklessly as the sharp edges can shred your mouth. Secondly – they can be crack and crumble. If you are a PC Gamer you’ll want to make sure not to let the crumbs drop onto your keyboard. Keep safe out there!

Energy Drinks

Monster, Red Bull, and others have marketed themselves as being the drink of gamers. The energy buzz can keep you gaming for hours and will help keep you focused so that you can play to the best of your abilities. I’ve been known to pound a Red Bull while playing Overwatch late into the night. It’s like using an Ultimate in real life. To me energy drinks taste how I imagine anti-freeze would taste like. The only difference is anti-freeze will kill you right away, and energy drinks will do the job slowly.

Microwaved Burritos

Most gamers get hungry, but they don’t want to step away from the screen. Which as a side note – you know you’re playing a great game if you have a hard time leaving to eat, sleep, or use the toilet.

But let’s pretend you’re gaming hard and hoping to put together a quick meal. You need something to sustain your weary body, but don’t have the time or want to go through the hassle of preparing a meal. This is where microwave burritos come in. Pull them out of the freezer, and zap them in the microwave. Within a few minutes you’ll have piping hot chicken burritos ready to be devoured. For a special twist you can smother them in your favorite hot sauce. If the burritos come out too hot you can let them cool while you continue to game. #PROTIP

Chili Dogs

Call up your local hot dog chain and order a bag of hot Chili Dogs. These puppies are guaranteed to make your stomach sing as you game it up. Be careful though! A chili dog is known to make a big mess, and you wouldn’t want to drop one onto your brand new XBOX ONE. If you’re going to eat chili dogs while gaming make sure you keep that chili under wraps!

Chips

There’s something magical about reaching into a fresh bag of chips. The crispness and flavor are perfect to fuel your gaming passion. Should you eat the whole bag? Your tummy won’t thank you, but your mouth will!

Fun Dip

What’s more nutritious and delicious than holding a stick of sugar that you lick and dip into sugar? Video games are fun, but you want to know what makes it even more fun? FUN DIP. You have not lived until you’ve got one hand on a controller and another hand dipping into that fun. The bonus is that your mouth looks like it literally tasted the rainbow.

The Ty-Quito (A Burrito made of Taquitos)

For years my friends and I have held an annual LAN party where we gather our computers together to play video games for a long ass time. We try to eat healthy, but it’s not uncommon for one of us to binge on a plate of brownies. At our last video game party we created a new delicious and heart-attack inducing creation. It’s called the Ty-Quito. It’s named after three of our favorite things. Our friend Tyler, taquitos, and burritos.

Here’s how you make the Ty-Quito…grab a tortilla (or two) and sprinkle a layer of shredded cheese down. Than place 3-4 taquitos on top of the cheese, and wrap it into a burrito form. Next you’ll want to place the Ty-Quito into an oven to cook. You want to leave it in there until they cheese is melted and the taquitos are rippling with heat.

Once the entire creation is hot and ready go ahead and take a bite. Amazing right? We’re pitching the idea to Taco Bell.

Beef Jerky

Raw, dry meat. Why do people pretend that beef jerky is good for us? It’s protein! It’s good for us! OK – maybe if you slaughtered a deer out in the boonies and than dried your own jerky you can hold to the claim that it’s not bad for your health. But is your ‘Jack Link’s Meat Snacks’ healthy? Absolutely not. They cake that meat in frosting, brown sugar, pineapple juice, powdered sugar, cane sugar, salt, and more. Most beef jerky goes straight to your hips, but ya it taste like heaven.

Mountain Dew

Cut me and I’ll bleed mountain dew. Mountain Dew is for the gamer who doesn’t want to get too deep into energy drinks with their chemicals, but water isn’t cutting it either. The lite beer of flavored carbonated sugar drinks.

Pizza

Truly the ultimate Gamer Grub is pizza. It’s got meat, cheese, heat, bread, and more! How many times have you been gaming and felt a deep urge to devour pizza? Every. Single. Day. Pizza is an innate desire for all gamers. The beauty of pizza is that the options of toppings are endless. You are basically eating a different food group with each different pizza. You got your Hawaiian, your pepperoni, your combination (for the veggies), and the BBQ chicken. You can find all four major food groups in a single slice of pizza. And here’s the thing – if pizza takes a year or two off my life…it’s totally worth it.

Cinnabon Rolls

Listen I have never eaten one of these dreams while playing video games. I only ate one while at the mall one time. I begged my Mom for a cinnabon and she eventually caved. Is there anything that tastes better than these little angel cakes? They got frosting, cinnamon, sugar, sweetness. I swear that I heard the voice of God the moment my tongue touched one of these things.

Now can you imagine playing Super Smash Brothers Ultimate and you are absolutely DESTROYING. You’re dominating the arena, and in that moment of success a bite of Cinnabon is placed into your mouth. oh my glob.

Red Vines

One of the difficulties of eating while playing video games is what to do with your hands. How can you use utensils or handle food when you’re using a controller? Clearly the genius behind the Red Vines candy knew this hardship. All you need to do is get the red vine into your mouth, and than you can chew through it hands free! Is red licorice really licorice? Who cares? They taste good. Is it true that Red Vines have little bits of plastic that build up in your gut until one day you explode? No one can know for sure!

A Bowl of Powdered Sugar

In the end it’s all we want right? Just go straight to the source. A big ol’ bowl of powdered sugar. You can lick it, sniff it, eat it by the spoonful. The best part of eating powdered sugar as a snack while gaming? You can use it to get the sweat off your hands! You know what I’m talking about! There’s those tense moments in gaming where your hands get clammy and it gets harder to grip the controller or mouse. If you’re snacking on some powdered sugar you can place some in your hands to dry that sweat off. It’s a real win win.

What gamer grub are we missing to this list? Put a comment down below with your favorite food/drink to consume while playing videojuegoes. We’re looking for the tastiest treats that are very likely to clog your heart.

 

Lemonsmith

Lemon's the optimist at Hey You Video Game! Not even lag, bad game mechanics, or RNG can get him mad. Lemonsmith's favorite video games are The Last of Us, PUBG, Apex Legends, and Donkey Kong Country.

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